Our thrifty brothers over at Consumerist have boiled down the process of canceling any service to four steps that are guaranteed to make the process as painless as possible (let's be honest - it'll never be painless). 1. Call outside of normal business hours, when most retention people are asleep. You may get a low-level CSR who doesn't get paid to retain you. 2. If the rep is rude or unreasonable, hang up and call right back and get a different rep. 3. Tell them you're moving. Moving outside their service area. 4. The reps are paid to retain you. Threats won't work. Keep your head cool and dance their little dance, politely. As most of us know, the customer service quagmire can be maddening (do you see the evil glow behind her eyes?), so anything to make the process a bit smoother is good to know. Do you have any cancellation horror stories? Let's hear them, along with any other tips you'd add to the list, in the comments or at tips at lifehacker.com. — Adam Pash HOWTO: Cancel Anything [Consumerist]